For this Mini-Challenge, I would like to showcase an eight line poem by William Butler Yeats. For a reading by Anthony Hopkins, click HERE.
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Susie Clevenger
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He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,Enwrought with gold and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I , being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Yeats has used repetition of end words in the place of rhyme, and has repeated that word within the lines of the poem itself, with the addition of other words (spread, tread) repeated in line.
The syllable count is as follows:
Line 1: 9 syllables
Line 2: 8 syllables
Line 3: 9 syllables
Line 4: 8 syllables
Line 5: 9 syllables
Line 6: 10 syllables
Line 7: 9 syllables
Line 8: 10 syllables
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Margaret Bednar
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This challenge may be more daunting than it first appears, especially when one considers the amount of repetition in so short a verse. For those who prefer the Free Verse option, please be guided by the pictures, which have been so kindly provided for us by Real Toads members and friends. Please acknowledge them on your blog if you upload them there.
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Isadora Gruye
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The Sunday Challenge is posted on Saturday at noon CST to allow extra time for the form
challenge. Please provide a link on your
blog back to Real Toads. We stipulate
that only poems written for this challenge may be added to the Mr Linky. Management reserves the right to remove
unrelated links, but invites you to share a poem of your choice on Open Link
Monday.
aaah, one of my most special favorite poems ever. at first blush, i am intimidated at the prospect of borrowing the form, but i'll try to get over it. :)
ReplyDeletewhat a cool challenge! xxo
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photos, by our fellow Toads! I needed a challenge today. I will give this a whirl.
ReplyDeleteWhoa! I'm first? on a form challenge?
ReplyDeleteVery very interesting challenge, Kerry--and thanks for the shout out--I know I wouldn't have been likely to think of inventing a consistent stanza form when I needed it without the practice of craft your form challenges provide. I love Yeats, and that poem is especially lovely--will see what I can do, though I haven't been up to writing much lately.
ReplyDeleteThat's quite a challenge! Very pretty pictures, too!
ReplyDeleteAnother wonderful challenge. Thank you yet again.So stimulating. How can we presume to create a line like the last one in this stanza.
ReplyDeleteSuch a treasure.
Wow!! Great challenge Kerry...added challenge: Writing this form with and five and two year old running amok!! lol!
ReplyDeleteLove the photos as well!!
Happy weekend Toads!
Beautiful photos and quite the challenge!
ReplyDeleteI will wait till the house is quiet to give it a go~
Hope everyone is doing well :D
So, I posted a very rough draft. I will not say how many hours it took. The form is hard, AND if I cannot say what I wish to say within 8 lines, I have to commit myself to an additional 8, not just 4. I will live with it for a while, take in your feedback and then revise as way opens.
ReplyDeleteOH! I did it wrong! Strike this from your list and I will post it on open Monday, repeating words instead of rhyming for this challenge. (I hate being wrong. I am embarrassed.)
ReplyDeleteDear Kerry! I take issue here in that I do not think Yeats is being bounded by syllables but it is a quatro ameter whatever you may call that - not a pentameter but a four foot line with some of the feet dactyls or anapests - or whatever those things are. I don't know if I have time for the challenge - I certainly have the desire and may try - it's such a lovely poem and you guys are so great - it's my boss I'm worried about - but if I do, I'm going to go with a four=footed line, if that's okay. k.
ReplyDeleteHere I am again, wasting space. Forgive me. Aided by some dVerse friends, I redid the poem to match the form you proposed. It is posted. Please remove the first one if you can. (I'll re-post it Monday). Again, I am most contrite.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the prompt...it's much needed to get me back on track with my posting after my move. I enjoyed the challenge.
ReplyDeleteGayle ~
Ann amazing challenge - I'm off to see how folk did. I couldn't hope to attempt it but that doesn't mean I don't get a lot out of it.
ReplyDeleteCrafting good poetry is such a gift. I've never been a good poet, so I have a lot of respect for people who can write it.
ReplyDelete@ Karen, you are quite right about the meter :-) I find the minute I mention tetrameter, iambs, dactyls etc.. everyone heads for the hills, feeling totally demotivated before they start. I have simplified the specifications for our challenge. I hope you will forgive me..and eagerly await your purist version of the form.
ReplyDelete@ Susan, I'm so impressed that you went at your poem again. There is no need to feel any embarrassment. These little exercises are simply a starting point for our own writing, and I have no qualms in changing the basic outline to suit what I want to say, and everyone should feel free to do the same. I'm not one of those people who poses a challenge then goes around pointing out what everyone has done wrong.
ReplyDeleteA mighty challenge, I must say! And one I can't wait to read later. That poem is so beautifully musical. It almost skips and pirouettes on the palm of your hand, doesn't it? :-)
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Kerry - it was challenging, and then I had a lot of stupid technical difficulties as I tried to upload a reading which kept mucking with stuff! I ended up with more rhyme than Yeats - not a great idea - but just went with it.
ReplyDeleteAgain I tried for a four footed line, and didn't worry too much about the syllables though I think they fit more or less. (Ha.)
I look forward to seeing what people did. Thanks again for your creativity in finding these challenges. k.
PS - the photos were lovely - I just couldn't concentrate on much beyond the form. I realized I should have used one, as they would have fit. Sorry. k.
ReplyDeleteWell, I found a few words to play with for this--I did count syllables, but I think they feel very metered and cadenced similar to the Yeats, so hopefully either approach works. Had LOTS of fun with this challenge, and will be around as soon as I get out of my pajamas. ;_)
ReplyDeleteThe photos are an optional extra for the free verse part this challenge, and the form does not have to be based on one of them.
ReplyDeleteI find the minute I mention tetrameter, iambs, dactyls etc.. everyone heads for the hills,
ReplyDeleteha ha. I wanted to, but decided to put my nose to the grindstone instead. Plus, I took some photos today that I wanted to write about. I thought repeating would be so much easier than rhyming, but I'm not so sure about that. Thank you. I'm one that needs these challenges to drag poems out of me - otherwise I flounder. Thank you.
Poetry challenge, I love prompts!
ReplyDeleteHi Ella, I hope I have arrived at the correct blog. Not sure you visited me through the oh i miss you blogfest or dVerse. But glad to have met you anyways :)
Tarun Reddy,
ReplyDeleteI tried to read your response, but I couldn't access your site.
I have always loved these beautiful words of W.B. Yeats, and, when I was younger, with dreams which could be trod upon, I often quoted him.
ReplyDeleteI'm still hoping to respond to this wonderful prompt.
K
I slaved for hours on this yesterday and then this evening something unexpected flowed which is as close as I ever expected to get. Thanks for the challenge me.
ReplyDeleteFinally! I have a poor attempt at the form. I love that you call this a "mini challenge" and it takes me days! :-)
ReplyDelete