Personal Challenge 7

So... Grace contacted me this week with a personal challenge that pretty much knocked me out. Knowing Grace, I had a feeling some kind of form poetry (at which I hold the world's record in sucking) would be involved. As usual, she blew all expectations out of the water. I give you, the challenge: 


Please write a series of haiku in the teikei fixed form. NO so-called "Haiku in English", please. Minimum of three and maximum of six pieces (and remember, four is the unluckiest number in Japanese), adhering to all traditional rules in their strictest sense, including the use of seasonal images and cutting words. You may use the English language convention of 5-7-5 syllables, OR write your haiku in 12 syllables (a closer match to the traditional on). The subject matter of your haiku is entirely up to you, and may be as untraditional as you please.

Whew! 


What ensued were days of syllable counting, weeding through ideas and excess words, a fantastic conversation with Grace, 68 attempted poems, and a new-found love of the discipline of haiku. 


Although the 5-7-5 convention is traditional, I learned in my research (yes, research :) )  that Japanese haiku are often written in a single line, and the number of on (loosely comparable to English syllables) fluctuates, even in the work of haiku masters.  

I'm not quite ready to call these attempts of mine haiku yet. True haiku always feel light, to me. Like an apple blossom, weightless on the surface of a still pond. These feel more like a dense chunk of brick, slamming through the surface, wreaking havoc on all those haiku frogs jumping into old ponds (--water's sound!). Since they're not quite haiku, then, I'll content myself with calling them Low-ku. ... low-ku with a will to climb. 

Three of the poems below are 17 syllables, two of those use a 5-7-5 structure, one a 6-5-6; and the remaining poem is a 12 syllable attempt, with two lines of 6 syllables each. (that's right... four wildly unlucky low-ku for your consideration.) 


The accompanying pictures/videos are not meant to be descriptive of the words, but in most cases acted as inspiration. The first photo, you will recognize, is the work of Isadora Gruye, and was featured here recently. 


Without any further yammering ado, I give you... low-ku 




I. 

through scarlet darkness,

each to his own hell – such is

the nature of love. 

:::






II. 

{image via deviant art}

verve, driftwood & moon,

lightning, jello, ash -- such things

as bones are made of

:::

III. 

{Son House rocking 'John the Revelator' ... it was actually the White Stripes I was listening to at the time, but youtube is sorely lacking in an acceptable version, and anyway,  it's always time for some good Delta Blues.}

John the Revelator –

Music of strange worlds

In the days of no days.

:::

IV. 

aged faces, story-smocked;

how vast the span of wings 

Thanks so much, Grace, for the challenge! 

Pondering my victim,

Shawnacy Kiker