Well I am "It" to the Personal Challenge from Michael (aka grapeling).
As some of you know, I invited him to join and connect with poetry communities last April 2013. He accepted by writing a poem "Caterpillar" in response to my lune poem.
"In honor of how I came to the garden, please select from at least one of your fellow Toads, a poem from their recent catalog, and craft a reply / commentary / inspiration from their pen, up to a total of 3 poems. What I'm going for here, is a sense of tribute to the influence we have on each other as poets. We support one another by comments - this challenge, is about paying homage via a pen to another poet's work. "
My challenge includes penning a series of lunes with a maximum of 75 words. I have decided to use my split personality voices to Marian's challenge on Living or being stuck in the Past. My first two poems are based on Kerry's Imperfect Recall. Our head toad is inspiration to all of us. I thank her for all the encouragement she has given me over the last 2 years.
Imperfect Recall
spoon this liquid
and your muscles will cease
to strum strain
under insomniac ceiling
blue stars will glow faultlessly
to repulse shadows
laboring by window
your eyes will mist missing
ingredients scattered thinly
in an ellipsis
your right hand grasps book
wrinkled bitten flayed
yet each page
stretched taut over gaping wound
is jade adorned
spoon this liquid
and your muscles will cease
to strum strain
under insomniac ceiling
blue stars will glow faultlessly
to repulse shadows
laboring by window
your eyes will mist missing
ingredients scattered thinly
in an ellipsis
your right hand grasps book
wrinkled bitten flayed
yet each page
stretched taut over gaping wound
is jade adorned
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~
Pill
I am pink
and faithful at first swallow.
I treat disconsolate
with potent blows.
All becomes ivory, where once
words bruised lavender.
I fill blanks
with happenstance, aches with honey.
I am river
rewinding what glowed,
fleshing what is absent : You
circling back to
Me. An arrow
separates us. Thicker than magnet.
Murmuring a past
perfect & luscious.
As your lips wild tango
with my tongue.
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~
Nectar
Morning taps gently
I stir to see sun
bearing marmalade, coffee
Sugar-glazed, cinnamon, spice-
we inhale deeply warm silence
with yellow-breasted birds
Your eyes moon-drunk
meet mine over soprano sky-
savor this - sip !
To complete the cycle of words, my third poem is based on my very first encounter with Michael's poem - SIP. His strong & unique voice inspires me too.
There is no Mr. Linky for this personal challenge post. However if you feel inspired to write a response or craft a lune, single or series, feel free to leave your link in the comments & we will visit you. Here is a quick refresher on lunes form.
Thanks so much for reading and wishing you all Happy Tuesday ~
Grace (aka Heaven)
23 comments:
Grace, these are wonderful. You're in full flower :)
For your first response, I especially like the middle verse: "your eyes will mist missing / ingredients scattered thinly" - it deftly twists the tenses and senses of missed/mist and incorporates the personal, emotional state of controlled, even hidden weeping. You've conveyed anguish and effort (strum strain; repulse; scattered; flayed; stretched; gaping) but managed to bring a sense of - if not peace, then beautiful acceptance - with the final line: jade adorned.
The second pen is brutally sensual, particularly in your use of color and sense - swallow/ blows/ bruised/ aches/ fleshing. Then the penultimate verse and that marvelous metaphor of attraction is just stellar: An arrow / separates us/ Thicker than magnet. Again, with the close, you bring a touch of hope, of intimacy, and it's hot!
Finally, thank you - I'm touched (in the head, but that's another story). Another smoking pen, luxuriant in the morning light, draped of sweetness and limbs. And those italics!
I'm so glad you invited me into the poetry community. It's been quite a ride these past 9 months. For those looking, here is the link to your lune poem, The March of the Caterpillar that inspired my pen.
It's a beautiful sliver moon tonight, the waves are crashing in the distance. A good night to read lunes. ~ M
Grace, this whole thing is marvelous. Thanks to you and to grapeling for such an imaginative challenge which also pays tribute to other Toads!
Marvelous work, Grace!
I'm simply stunned at the amount of thought and effort that has gone into each of these poems - each is a masterpiece in its own right, but together they are a feast for lovers of poetry. I am thrilled to know that a poem I wrote provided a spring-board for your own work. You have taken the idea of 'Imperfect Recall' and presented it from a whole new angle.
laboring by window
your eyes will mist missing
ingredients scattered thinly
in an ellipsis... I love that whole concept.
The poems written from the more sensual angle are luscious and richly worded in your own wonderful style.
Thank you for going all out for this challenge.
lovely and wonderful, Grace...oh and did I forget to say how wonderful and lovely?
wowow, i just love this from start to end, Grace (and Michael), SO inspired. yippee! my favorite thing of all is this:
"Me. An arrow"
yowza! really, really good. i'm grateful for the presence of both of you in the garden.
Some of your best work I have ever read here, Grace, and as you know, I have been reading you for a long time. I love each one, but especially the strong flavors in the last two. A beautiful response and execution of a challenge, which is in itself an example that will challenge all of the rest of us.
Thanks for all the love & kind words ~
Michael, your comprehensive review is more than my 3 poems, smiles ~ I am really moved by them ~ Thanks for the marvelous challenge ~
Lovely work ... you've taken the Jack Collum Lune form to incredible heights! I am inspired (as others will be)to get creative today. Thank you, thank you.
First, I love Michael's idea, to write poems based upon the work of fellow Toads. How cool! Grace, you absolutely excelled in this challenge. These are some of your best work, and that's saying something. Fantastic challenge and execution, you two. Applause!!!!!!
Grapeling, what a creative, inspirational challenge. There are so many wonderful poets that reside in and visit the garden. Grace, I believe this is some of your best work. If I had to choose a favorite it would be Pill. I reread it trying to find favorite lines, but there are too many. Bravo to both of you!!
Wonderful challenge idea, M!!
Grace your poem choices and lune responses to them are such a treat.
Thank you!! :)
This is a lovely challenge. I had no idea what a LUNE was until now and a quick google search made me smarter. I'll write a few.
I'll come back later. <3
If you like the idea of writing based on a Toads work, we can continue it to the next challenger ~
Also, Kenia, I have included the link to the lunes poem in my post as we have tackled that form in RT ~
Thanks again for your lovely words~
An interesting post that I enjoyed reading.
Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.
Ok, here I am, back with my attempt.
:: To love him in his sounds ::
It still feels
like a song, even when
it is not
even when it's
a laughter, or silence, or
the sound of
a busy street
my feet won't touch, he
wants to share.
---
Form poetry is hard for me you know, this looks easy, hope I haven't made any mistakes in counting (I suck at math, seriously).
Thanks for sharing your beautiful lunes and the inspiration for poetry.
<3
From the title, I love it already, smiles ~ If he wants to share, it sounds like beautiful song ~
Form poetry is a fun challenge ~
May I share one trick I find in writing lunes? You can eliminate the/a/and/etc, and just use commas, lots of verbs & nouns ~
Thank you Kenia ~ It's good to see you writing once more ~
Kenia, I love your lune sequence. I think it is a form which will perfectly match your style. I hope to read more of these poems on your blog in the coming days.
<3
Grace, i wrote some teeny lunes for Pete Seeger. thanks for reminding us of this sweet form.
http://www.runawaysentence.com/2014/01/pete-seeger-thank-you.html
I must just embrace the WHOLE challenge as it is jaw dropingly impressive. The third poem is my favorite but I agree with everything said in the above comments.
Grace, I enjoyed this immensely. I'm still a newby on a lot of poetry forms here in my self study of poetry loving.
Speaking of loving, your second 'lune poem' (??) here in a literal sense reminded me of a love affair I had with Vicodin a couple of years ago after my artificial knee joint implant. That romance has been renewed a few times since as a result of some other medical 'flings'.
I am and always will be addicted but I want never to be an addict.
I do intend to read up and practice with the lune form. Thank you, Grace, Michael, Marian, and the others who have contributed here.
..
p.s. My love affair lasted at least six months. It was such a pleasant time. I knew it was wrong and harmful so I tried to quit several times before my last successful attempt. My body ached and craved strongly for me to continue each time. Memories, pleasant, remain. And I still have my forbidden stash.
..
Fabulous!
K
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