Happy Friday my toadalicious garden dwellers....I hope this Friday finds you all on the brink of a great July weekend with lots of fun and frolic. Herotomost here and I am once again tasked by the Dominatrix of Dandelions, the Purveyor of the Pond, the Basilisk of the Blogosphere, Kerry, to come up with a Friday Challenge. Today I am going to talk about a little thing that I do in my poetry, not sure how it started, but it seems to have stuck with me and I like the way that it makes some of my pieces feel. It is the use of a refrain of some sort to separate stanzas that would normally be able to stand on their own, but the refrains seem to give the piece a little more depth and punch. (some folks think they are unnecessary and curse me for doing it, but what the hell, I am a writing rebel!!!!). There may be a sophisticated term for such refrains in poetry, but if there is I am woefully unaware.
When writing my refrains, it makes me feel like there are two sides of myself waging a little battle for context and reality. The non-refrain portion of the piece is usually a straight forward, sort of cultural norm style of voice that says what I am expected to say or think and the refrain portion is usually that emotional consciousness side of my brain trying to see past the idealism and find that dark little truth that we may think to ourselves, but hide from everyday interactions with others. Here is an example of one of my poems with the refrains. Most of you have already read this so it is merely a refresher.
Lower the Casket
Standing storm calm, still, on that hardened patch of sand
A beach of forever and forever's, broken without so much as a pardon
He pissed himself and tried to stop his hobbled heart from beating
Watching as her silhouette became a soul sickened memory he wanted
Lower the casket fat bastard
This one's a fuck
Hung by the neck with an idiots rope
May God shut the doors lest his shadow fly
And grip heaven in a liars fist
She had blown in on that very beach with a confidence worth measuring
Who wouldn't have wanted to spend eternity probing those eyes
Sharp tongues and the power born of rum soaked dreams....misplaced
Watching the look on her face turn from fancy, to hollow, to hate
Another shovel full fat bastard
This one's a king
Beheaded in haste with a simpletons blade
The wrought iron gates of purgatory sing
Emblazoned with his crest alone
Mind your thoughts and move through this life with a heart like a shelf
And place on it only those things that make you better than the night
Rejoice in the fact that you are not God and certainly not merely a man
And give her, her due and then some, that skin is beautiful history
Say the prayer fat bastard
This one's a man
Bludgeoned with a hustlers hammer
That sacred moment before death's dance
Was the moment he saw God
Was the moment he saw God
So, good or bad, that is what I am talking about. Now, to the challenge!!!! I want you talented toads to write me a piece that has some sort of refrain. It can be a repeating refrain that lends rhythm and punch, it can be a shadow refrain speaking from that bi-polar side of your brain that does not necessarily agree with what you think you should be thinking, or it could be a refrain that adds playfulness and agility to pick up the pace of the message. If you want to get really creative, it does not have to be poetry, as always it can be anything your little amphibious hearts desire. And also, as always, if you find this challenge creepy, against your religion, not up to your standards or flat out too hard and you find you would rather take a nap, then you are welcome to take that nap or write and post whatever you would like to. I'm easy, just ask my wife.
And with that I sign off...thank you for thinking about playing and.......
Everyone jump upon the refrain....ooooaaaaaeeeeeaaaaaaooooaaaaaaa....come ride the refrain!!!!! lol...that was just sick.
The Dominatrix of Dandelions! Oh, Corey. LOL!
I will take a try at this one after work tonight, if my nasty cold allows. :-(
Lol. I am here to visit everyone since I missed a few poets previously, but I don't have a poem to share yet. Will come by again if the words hit me up. Cheers. :0)
Basilisk, huh?? Funny man.
Great challenge here, Corey. I have always seen the refrain as one of your signatures and here is a good opportunity to try it out.
I'm glad to see Kerry has imbued you with a proper sense of respect, my man. (I often use a refrain--I think it's a very musical and effective tool--loved your poem, where you vary it and add even more emphasis.) As everyone knows since I've been bitching about it for months, this summer has not been the most creative period of my writing life, but will see if I can come up with something--you never know
Thank God I'm not a gentleman!
Couldn't help approaching the Gaza-Isreali conflict in this one while continuing my "theatrum mundi" explorations of possibility. Thanks for the prompt, Corey. I thought the word might be "chorus" (which I play with here), but "refrain" works better and says more, I now think. I hope mine fits.
I was going to say something very clever about your poem, then I read Fireblossom's response. Aloud. The moment "The Dominatrix of Dandelions!" crossed my lips, I started laughing like a psychopath.
Now, there are "fat bastards" and "Dominatrix of Dandelions" images in my head. I suspect I will be thrown out of the next funeral I attend. It will be yours and Fireblossom's fault, lol!
Oh sure, blame the redhead! ;-)
Hey Corey--your own poem is both daunting and inspiring! (In my case, it was more daunting, I'm afraid--really well done.) A wonderful prompt. Thanks. I've been insanely busy lately and it was just so hard to break from my day job mindset, so this was a wonderful respite when I finally went through a few awful tries. k.
forever behind, it seems, dear Corey, but i'm determined to respond to your refrain challenge! which will be a challenge, for sure... i so admire your use of refrain but never, or rarely anyway, seem to think it works in my writing. anyway just saying that i'm working on it. xoxxox M
oops! i forgot to leave a comment! (it's been waaaay to long since i have participated.)
i enjoyed the prompt and the different approaches people took.
have a good week, everyone!
Corey, in way late, but had to let that one stew. or brew, or something. hoping it doesn't take until the last moment to figure out what's happening... ~
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